There's No Place Like Home...
So, funny story.
When I graduated college, I booked a job immediately after summer stock. And after that theatre gig, I booked another. It wasn't until after my constant work ran out that I realized that I had literally moved from theatre to theatre, job to job, living out of my car for three complete years.
First of all, how lucky am I? Three years of constant work? That's amazing. I was such a lucky performer to get those opportunities, much less make my means of money through what I truly love to do.
And then, I got tired of living out of my car. Never knowing what was coming next or where I was going home to...because, in reality, I didn't have a home. I had me. Attached to nothing, no home, no other life. Sadly, I wasn't even attached to the man I was dating during that time and yet, I strung him along to make myself feel like I wanted something other than me. But at that time, I just didn't.
Which is OKAY.
And now, I've lived in New York city for 9 months, almost a year. I have an amazing roommate. I have an amazing apartment. I have an amazing boyfriend. I have a freaking amazing life.
For the first time, for the first real time, I'm attached and in tears. I used to leave shows or home or my significant others without any tears. A shrug, maybe a misty eye, and a hug and I was back in my car, driving to my next destination.
I'll be leaving New York. Leaving my roommate. Leaving my boyfriend. Leaving my life. All for four months. Which is really not that long amount of time but it wasn't until I was talking to a friend at Bourbon Street Bar in mid town last night that I realized my attachment and why I keep feeling tears welling up if I think about my leave too much...
But I am so excited. And I know I will have a blast and a great opportunity for the next few months.
But still, funny...back 3 years ago if I had four months of work, I would have had a sigh of relief for that long length of work.
Not now. Not ever again.
And that's okay too. It doesn't make me any less of a person to cry. It doesn't mean I'm not beyond thrilled to go on this adventure of a contract. It just means I have something to look forward to...I finally have home.
Love love,
Adrienne
When I graduated college, I booked a job immediately after summer stock. And after that theatre gig, I booked another. It wasn't until after my constant work ran out that I realized that I had literally moved from theatre to theatre, job to job, living out of my car for three complete years.
First of all, how lucky am I? Three years of constant work? That's amazing. I was such a lucky performer to get those opportunities, much less make my means of money through what I truly love to do.
And then, I got tired of living out of my car. Never knowing what was coming next or where I was going home to...because, in reality, I didn't have a home. I had me. Attached to nothing, no home, no other life. Sadly, I wasn't even attached to the man I was dating during that time and yet, I strung him along to make myself feel like I wanted something other than me. But at that time, I just didn't.
Which is OKAY.
And now, I've lived in New York city for 9 months, almost a year. I have an amazing roommate. I have an amazing apartment. I have an amazing boyfriend. I have a freaking amazing life.
For the first time, for the first real time, I'm attached and in tears. I used to leave shows or home or my significant others without any tears. A shrug, maybe a misty eye, and a hug and I was back in my car, driving to my next destination.
I'll be leaving New York. Leaving my roommate. Leaving my boyfriend. Leaving my life. All for four months. Which is really not that long amount of time but it wasn't until I was talking to a friend at Bourbon Street Bar in mid town last night that I realized my attachment and why I keep feeling tears welling up if I think about my leave too much...
But I am so excited. And I know I will have a blast and a great opportunity for the next few months.
But still, funny...back 3 years ago if I had four months of work, I would have had a sigh of relief for that long length of work.
Not now. Not ever again.
And that's okay too. It doesn't make me any less of a person to cry. It doesn't mean I'm not beyond thrilled to go on this adventure of a contract. It just means I have something to look forward to...I finally have home.
Love love,
Adrienne
How beautiful! I'm so happy you are finding the home that rests in your heart with ease. Luv.
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