My Butt Was Slapped Today...
POST IS FOR TUESDAY MAY 24!
Today is a day I get to sleep in. Ahhhh.
However, now my body has woken itself up at the crack of dawn due to the fact that we've been getting up at 8 AM almost everyday.
Damn.
Oh well. We go downstairs to enjoy a lovely breakfast after which, while Chris went to find a laudromat (Um, because to do it in the hotel costs a 1 Euro .50 for each drawer to be done by the maid...and they can only be washed by the maid...), I decided to sun on the roof. Yes, on our beautiful balcony.
And read The Chamber.
Yeaaahhhhhh...I love New York but I'm not ready to go back...
After a lovely hour of tanning/trying to get rid of the sports bra tan line that's on my back from Cinque Terre, Chris and I went to have lunch. First, however, a massage. I should tell my blog readers that I've been, for probably over five weeks now, been having serious pain in my left shoulder. Sometimes my shoulder is fine, but other times the pain hits me to the point that it literally takes my breath away and I can't help but curse at it. I have tried my best to not complain about it due to the fact that not only Matthew tried to get knots/intense pain out before I left but I've also had the two massages in Tuscany, been relaxed and happy as a lark on this entire trip and I have not really lifted that much, so I feel like I have no reason for this pain. Not to mention my gimpy right ankle makes me look pathetic enough.
However, have I mentioned I have an amazing godmother who wants only the best for me and to help me with everything? I don't think I complained about my shoulder much and before lunch, Chris had obviously heard my few cries of pain and took me to a Thai massage place in order to try to get this freaking kink out.
Yep. She rocks.
Well, at the massage center, neither the man at the front spoke much English and of course, neither did the woman who is assigned to do my Thai massage. I immediately tell her when I walk in and point to my shoulder, trying as best as I can with words and sign language that that is where I need focus, massage, and where I have serious pain. She nods, and I not really sure whether or not she understands, gives me those lovely paper undies and motions to the bed.
Again, no face in hole thing (okay, Italy has GOT to get on that) and now I have to be naked...again.
Please God, let her know that my shoulders are killing me.
I undress and lay face down as instructed. She comes back into the room and says things I cannot understand. This is because she is Thai with a very thick Thai accent but speaking Italian in a Thai accent. Interesting combo, I can assure you. I just lay there silently and wait for her magic hands to heal me.
And she pours oil on me.
Shit.
I had not planned to get lathered up with this but luckily, as I turn my head to the right, I notice that there's a shower and hope to God that I can shower off afterwards. And she starts on my legs.
Oh, well, great, I think to myself, she did not get the memo about my shoulders.
Double crap.
She asks me where I am from and when I finally understand what's she asked me and respond that I am from New York City, I then ask her, "You?"
It's one word. I figured that would be simple and that she's asked that a lot.
She then says to me through her broken and odd sounding laugh, "Oh...I no speak English!" And she slaps my butt.
That's right. She slapped my right bare cheek with her right hand.
Oh, I would have paid a lot of money to see the look on my face...
After that, slapping of the butt incident as I like to call it (and trying to wipe away my disturbed face plus shake what just happened from my memory for the rest of the session), she worked on my shoulders. And she worked on them for a long freaking time.
Unfornately, my left shoulder is still hurting and it still hurts to look down or really lift or do much of anything with it. (I do hope I did not pull anything...) But all in all, even with her climbing on me and using her whole body to loosen me up (I mean, kneeling on me, using her hands, climbing on top of the table over me), she got rid of knots I didn't even know I had.
Words of wisdom for those who've never had a Thai massage: Don't do it if you don't like to be naked and have your hands laid on everywhere (Yes, you can ask me about that in detail...again, no need to scare children on the blog...) and don't do it if you don't like hard massages. Chris said my woman had came out of my massage sweating and let me just tell you, that woman really worked hard for the money.
But she did get to slap my butt. Not something most can say...
After the massage that did relax me beyond belief (oh and after my second shower for the day of getting oil off of me) Chris and I went and lunch. I got the octopus salad again--with it's purple tenicles and suction cups--if I don't look at it as I eat it, I freaking love this stuff. Chris, everytime I get seafood here, tries her best to stomach it as I down as much Italian seafood as possible.
And after lunch and drooling over the Dior and Prada windows, Chris and I met for our fourth Context tour. This one was geared to be much more casual...kind of a walk about around Rome where we were to talk about everything from the food to the culture to the history. After we met our tour guide, Elizabeth, a thin, tall, straight haired blonde woman with a lower registered voiced, who held a helmet in her right hand, a smile on her face, and a remarkable ability to automatically have everyone's first names memorized, I discovered how much I loved this down to earth woman and tour. Nothing very intense but enough to where we learned a little about everything and got to see parts of the city that Chris and I probably wouldn't find on our own. Not to mention, there was someone there, Elizabeth, that I could ask just about any question to, but I didn't feel like I was in school (even though, I've not had one American here who hasn't asked if I'm in school in New York).
And after the laid back tour, Chris and I (the other two who were on our tour were on their honeymoon and jet lagged beyond belief) had a glass of wine with Elizabeth, talked about her life in Italy (she's originally American), her son, and the amazing health care in Europe.
Elizabeth parted ways to have dinner with friends and Chris and I wandered to a little restaurant where I had ravioli topped with, you guessed it, seafood and Chris had chopped beef steak with veggies. And we wandered home to our hotel at eleven at night and exhausted, passed out on our king size bed.
My butt was slapped today by a Thai masseuse. Just remember that.
Going into the sitcom, ladies and gentlemen, going into the sitcom.
Ciao bella!
Love love,
Adrienne
Today is a day I get to sleep in. Ahhhh.
However, now my body has woken itself up at the crack of dawn due to the fact that we've been getting up at 8 AM almost everyday.
Damn.
Oh well. We go downstairs to enjoy a lovely breakfast after which, while Chris went to find a laudromat (Um, because to do it in the hotel costs a 1 Euro .50 for each drawer to be done by the maid...and they can only be washed by the maid...), I decided to sun on the roof. Yes, on our beautiful balcony.
And read The Chamber.
Yeaaahhhhhh...I love New York but I'm not ready to go back...
After a lovely hour of tanning/trying to get rid of the sports bra tan line that's on my back from Cinque Terre, Chris and I went to have lunch. First, however, a massage. I should tell my blog readers that I've been, for probably over five weeks now, been having serious pain in my left shoulder. Sometimes my shoulder is fine, but other times the pain hits me to the point that it literally takes my breath away and I can't help but curse at it. I have tried my best to not complain about it due to the fact that not only Matthew tried to get knots/intense pain out before I left but I've also had the two massages in Tuscany, been relaxed and happy as a lark on this entire trip and I have not really lifted that much, so I feel like I have no reason for this pain. Not to mention my gimpy right ankle makes me look pathetic enough.
However, have I mentioned I have an amazing godmother who wants only the best for me and to help me with everything? I don't think I complained about my shoulder much and before lunch, Chris had obviously heard my few cries of pain and took me to a Thai massage place in order to try to get this freaking kink out.
Yep. She rocks.
Well, at the massage center, neither the man at the front spoke much English and of course, neither did the woman who is assigned to do my Thai massage. I immediately tell her when I walk in and point to my shoulder, trying as best as I can with words and sign language that that is where I need focus, massage, and where I have serious pain. She nods, and I not really sure whether or not she understands, gives me those lovely paper undies and motions to the bed.
Again, no face in hole thing (okay, Italy has GOT to get on that) and now I have to be naked...again.
Please God, let her know that my shoulders are killing me.
I undress and lay face down as instructed. She comes back into the room and says things I cannot understand. This is because she is Thai with a very thick Thai accent but speaking Italian in a Thai accent. Interesting combo, I can assure you. I just lay there silently and wait for her magic hands to heal me.
And she pours oil on me.
Shit.
I had not planned to get lathered up with this but luckily, as I turn my head to the right, I notice that there's a shower and hope to God that I can shower off afterwards. And she starts on my legs.
Oh, well, great, I think to myself, she did not get the memo about my shoulders.
Double crap.
She asks me where I am from and when I finally understand what's she asked me and respond that I am from New York City, I then ask her, "You?"
It's one word. I figured that would be simple and that she's asked that a lot.
She then says to me through her broken and odd sounding laugh, "Oh...I no speak English!" And she slaps my butt.
That's right. She slapped my right bare cheek with her right hand.
Oh, I would have paid a lot of money to see the look on my face...
After that, slapping of the butt incident as I like to call it (and trying to wipe away my disturbed face plus shake what just happened from my memory for the rest of the session), she worked on my shoulders. And she worked on them for a long freaking time.
Unfornately, my left shoulder is still hurting and it still hurts to look down or really lift or do much of anything with it. (I do hope I did not pull anything...) But all in all, even with her climbing on me and using her whole body to loosen me up (I mean, kneeling on me, using her hands, climbing on top of the table over me), she got rid of knots I didn't even know I had.
Words of wisdom for those who've never had a Thai massage: Don't do it if you don't like to be naked and have your hands laid on everywhere (Yes, you can ask me about that in detail...again, no need to scare children on the blog...) and don't do it if you don't like hard massages. Chris said my woman had came out of my massage sweating and let me just tell you, that woman really worked hard for the money.
But she did get to slap my butt. Not something most can say...
After the massage that did relax me beyond belief (oh and after my second shower for the day of getting oil off of me) Chris and I went and lunch. I got the octopus salad again--with it's purple tenicles and suction cups--if I don't look at it as I eat it, I freaking love this stuff. Chris, everytime I get seafood here, tries her best to stomach it as I down as much Italian seafood as possible.
And after lunch and drooling over the Dior and Prada windows, Chris and I met for our fourth Context tour. This one was geared to be much more casual...kind of a walk about around Rome where we were to talk about everything from the food to the culture to the history. After we met our tour guide, Elizabeth, a thin, tall, straight haired blonde woman with a lower registered voiced, who held a helmet in her right hand, a smile on her face, and a remarkable ability to automatically have everyone's first names memorized, I discovered how much I loved this down to earth woman and tour. Nothing very intense but enough to where we learned a little about everything and got to see parts of the city that Chris and I probably wouldn't find on our own. Not to mention, there was someone there, Elizabeth, that I could ask just about any question to, but I didn't feel like I was in school (even though, I've not had one American here who hasn't asked if I'm in school in New York).
And after the laid back tour, Chris and I (the other two who were on our tour were on their honeymoon and jet lagged beyond belief) had a glass of wine with Elizabeth, talked about her life in Italy (she's originally American), her son, and the amazing health care in Europe.
Elizabeth parted ways to have dinner with friends and Chris and I wandered to a little restaurant where I had ravioli topped with, you guessed it, seafood and Chris had chopped beef steak with veggies. And we wandered home to our hotel at eleven at night and exhausted, passed out on our king size bed.
My butt was slapped today by a Thai masseuse. Just remember that.
Going into the sitcom, ladies and gentlemen, going into the sitcom.
Ciao bella!
Love love,
Adrienne
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